How many times do you feel you don’t have enough time? How often can you be heard using that over-used phrase “there’s just not enough hours in the day”? You’re probably in the trance of busy-ness? Everyone’s so busy nowadays, but what exactly are we all busy doing?
What I’m about to say may hurt but I’m still going to say it. The truth is most of us are busy doing stuff that’s of no real significance. None if it will matter in 1, 5 or even 10 years time. We fill our days to bursting with tasks and appointments which make us feel important as we run around like headless chickens flapping our arms in the air, going on and on about how busy we are and how little time we have for ourselves. We can become addicted to the drama of it all, in a trance until something of real meaning snaps us out of it.
Nobody is making you busy but you and no matter how busy you are I bet there are certain things you always make time for no matter what; this means you can find the time when you choose to. I remember towards the end of my career in the world of Recruitment, I worked in a job that I felt was OK, what I loved about the job was that time went fast because I was busy. I was always tired when I left too which felt good to me as it meant that I had done a good day’s work.
So let’s look at that again but this time reading between the lines, I loved it because I got to wish my life away and it drained me so that I didn’t have to focus on the lack of meaning in my life. In fact, most nights ended with lots of red wine that blurred the edges and kept me from hearing what my soul was screaming out for me to hear.
Looking back, I feel quite sad actually about the way I used to think. Did I really have such a low opinion of myself that I needed to fill my days with stuff to make myself feel important? What was I running away from? What was I scared I would find out if I gave myself some space and quiet time to myself. It was the same with evenings, they would all be packed with seeing friends and if I had a free evening I would feel an urge to fill it.
Busy-ness is a classic form of resistance. Your life does not need to be full to have meaning. In fact if it’s full of meaningless things then you leave no room for anything new to come in. Resist the urge to fill your time with anything and everything and simply let yourself be for a while, then you will get to see what you fear facing. Avoiding it doesn’t make it disappear and only gives it more power to control your life, so face it, be with it and know that it will pass and you will emerge stronger and with greater clarity about who you really are and what you really want in life.
If you are looking outside for confirmation of your importance, you’re looking in the wrong place. You are important and if you don’t feel it, the place to look is inside yourself as that’s where all the answers lie. Your job title is not who you are and I can guarantee you will not be on your death bed wishing you worked more.
Look at your life and work out how you spend your time. If the way you split your time doesn’t reflect what’s truly important to you, it’s time to wake up and smell the coffee. Yes I’m going to trot out one my old faves
“The more you do of what you’re doing, the more you get of what you’re getting.”
You have two choices:
1. You can take the initiative, step outside of the trance of busy-ness and see things in their true perspective so you can make life choices from there
OR
2. You can sit back and wait until the Universe decides to snap you out of the trance.
Having taken the 2nd option I can tell you that it is more painful but both roads lead to the same place.
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I help spiritually conscious professionals and business owners *shine* and unleash their potential without selling their soul.
Hey Amy
I actually hear the relief in your words! There are always parts of us that could do with an MOT, it never ends so buckle up enjoy the ride and go easy on yourself. BTW, option 1 is so much fun!
In love, light and abundance x x x
Ah Lola, you really are gifted, I come to your site time and again and see a little more about myself that needs a bit of an MOT. Thanks for this post, I really feel you have helped me to recognise how being “busy” is actually a cover for me to wish my life away. Having tried option 2, I am pleased to see from this that there is also option 1, and I plan to embrace this new found insight.
Lots of love A xx
Hi Sara
How liberating it is to free yourself from the trance!
It is a process and you have definitely taken the 1st step, I trust meaningful things are on their way for you now you’ve made the space. Remember, move judgement aside, it’s only got to be meaningful to you.
In love, light and abundance x x x
I really enjoyed this, and have definitely experienced the “trance.” Once I got tired of the grind of being busy, I found that with only minimal, surface-level changes, I went from being insanely “busy,” to having a few hours of completely free time every day. What does that tell me? That all those urgent tasks were completely self-imposed.
I can’t say that I’ve found super-fulfilling things to replace those meaningless tasks, but at least, like you mention, there’s room for new things to find their way in.
Thanks for the comments guys, thanks for passing by.
@Callie – Yes busyness is classic resistance, I really notice this in the lives of new clients. They come to me because they want positive change and immediately find their life so full of stuff they can’t even see straight. It’s a very dangerous place to be as most of us believe that being busy is a good thing!
It’s taken me years to notice it and I still have to stay aware as I have a tendency to want to fill “spare” time and keep myself from the simplicity I simply adore.
@ Leona – I hear what you’re saying, I call it nourishing or depleting tasks. However you can still fill your life to overfowing with things that nourish you to the point it becomes depleting. What’s wrong with having space? Space makes us so much more productive, allows room for recharging and for inspiration to be heard and acted upon.
@ Bonnie – That is very important, we do not know what tomorrow brings and if there’s no room for anything else it brings more of the same.
@ Ari – I know it does hurt doesn’t it, but in a loving, wake-up call way I hope LOL
. At least you are aware of it and that’s a step in the right direction. It takes some practise and time but I am now allowing myself time for me just to be, not accepting every social invitation because I do not have anything planned etc and it feels good, authentic and freeing. I highly recommend it!
In love, light and abundance x x x
Lola
“Did I really have such a low opinion of myself that I needed to fill my days with stuff to make myself feel important?”
Man, that really cuts to the core, doesn’t it? Many of us, including myself, define our identity to what we do, not who we are. We feel somehow inadequate or incomplete when we’re not being “productive,” but often we lack the courage to go tackle the big stuff, so we validate our existence with low-hanging fruits that are easy to take care of but are meaningless, like you said.
An excellent post. Stumbled.
ari
I think you are so right on when you say that when we fill our days with “busy ness” there is no room for anything new.
Excellent content here. Glad I discovered and will return. Keep up the great work!
Great reminder Lola! I recently wrote about this as well, as I’m dealing with this in my life at the moment. I have a lot of time on my hands all of a sudden and I seriously don’t know what to do with myself. I try to make to do lists and feel like I am accomplishing small tasks to fill my day. But what I’ve realized is that I need to enjoy my alone time. I swear to god most of us are afraid to be alone in our own heads. We don’t know how to handle alone time that doesn’t include getting things checked off a to-do list. We all work so damn hard and we deserve time for ourselves, but once we have it it’s like ” what do I do now!” You are so right! We don’t need to be busy, we all just need to learn to live in the present moment and enjoy the time we have on this planet.
Lola
So true…I am a perpetually busy woman and it is both like a trance and it has its own momentum. I create activity – somehow I can also do it even on a 2 week silent retreat. For me, I find it useful to discern between busy (that is filling time) and passionate (time disappears when I am doing something I love). Like blogging. I am falling more and more in love with it. I love reading what bloggers write and I love writing my own blog.
I like to discern between life serving energy and life blocking energy. Check out my lastest entry which asks us to explore our personal code of values. Busy-ness that is life serving is in alignment with our values. Busy-ness that numbs, represses, avoids or distracts and is not aligned with our values needs examination. Love to hear more on this from your readers.
Hiya Lola – you are SO spot-on about busyness being a classic case of resistance. It has taken me years to value myself and to stop acting like WonderWoman (without the gorgeous outfit!), burning myself into the ground.
“Your life does not need to be full to have meaning” … that is the key. Why does it take us so many years to realise something which is so simple?!
Thanks for sharing another excellent article with us!
Bright blessings,
Callie C.